P.G. (Piggy) Reynolds

Mr. Reynolds was the housemaster of 'Walpole House' and had been christened 'Piggy' long before I entered Kings. I believe is which sounded name was an adaptation of his initials P.G. somewhat like Piggy. He was a no-nonsense teacher who made geography reasonably interesting under his tutelage.

Life was never boring with him at the helm. He had a good sense of humour and very few lessons were without a number of throw away one liners. He was a family man, and I think that 'mellowed' him somewhat.

His most common expression was 'Ye Gods and little fishes' when appraising some weird bit of information or pathetic answer from a dumb kid. In the early days he had me surreptitiously checking my surroundings when he'd state that God could suddenly stop time and we'd be put into suspended animation while he checked on what we were doing or thinking. To obviate any questioning of this statement he concluded by saying that God would then slip back into Heaven and allow time to continue, and of course we'd be none the wiser.

Piggy would chuckle and then emphasise what he'd just said by telling someone what clandestine activity they'd been involved in while his back had been turned. In serious mode he would say that he'd been privy to God's info and was well aware of everything we had done.

This was mind boggling, especially as he did appear to know what was going on whilst chalking the black board. This was absurd, we knew, but how in the blazes did he have so much good intelligence on our activities?

More often than not he would be writing on the chalkboard and without turning around would tell some larrikin to sit down and stop making faces or pick up a ball of paper that had been thrown.

Confounded we were!

It was quite some time before it was mooted that he possessed a secret weapon. It was said to be a small piece of mirror which he held between finger and thumb and viewed the class whilst addressing the board with chalk strokes.

I must admit I can't verify this fact as I never saw this action occur. If the mirror scam is untrue then P.G. surely must have had super intuitive powers.

History was another of Piggy's subjects, but I couldn't get over excited about learning every date and cataclysmic event that occurred from Moses to Waterloo. I was much more interested in modern history but a school so steeped in traditional history didn't cope for oddities like me.